


An Unofficial Therapist

by Thliky



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-22 00:50:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thliky/pseuds/Thliky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce was the unofficial therapist of the avengers team, and it was more than a little bit tiring at times. Especially when two of your team mates fall for eachother, but are too stubborn to see it. Clint's irritable teasing doesn't help either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unofficial Therapist

“Bruce, I need your help.” Tony’s voice boomed as he paced into one of the many steel enforced labs where Dr Banner spent most of his time.

“Sure, give me a second.” Bruce muttered as he stabbed at the tablet that rested on the table in front of him. Tony waited a whole of ten seconds, shifting impatiently from foot to foot, before speaking up again.

“Bruce, this is urgent.” Tony tried to grab Bruce’s attention with the best panicky voice he could pull off, but Bruce seemed pretty much immune to any of Tony’s tricks by now.

“OK, I’m listening.” Bruce mumbled with his eyes still focused intently on the screen in front of him as he tapped at it a couple more times.

“He kissed me.” Tony managed to choke out, practically spitting the words, but Bruce remained unfazed by Tony’s frantic pacing and sweaty palms.

Bruce was used to every member of the Avengers coming to him for help - logically, it made no sense, seen as he was the only one who turned into the hulk under too much pressure, but nevertheless, he was the best at dolling out advice, even Natasha had come to see him at one point with a seemingly unfathomable problem. Still, despite Banner being painfully aware of his slightly rising pulse when someone presented him with deplorable news, he found it comforting that he had a role to play in the team other than the giant, green monster they prodded when they needed to break out the big guns.

Tony had in fact come to him only a week or so ago with the possibility of a case of chlamydia after hooking up with some girl at a bar. So Tony’s opening line, ‘he kissed me’, didn’t really surprise him, considering Tony was making out with a new person every week, not excluding men.

“Who kissed you?” Bruce muttered absentmindedly. He was usually a little more attentive when his co-workers came to him for advice, but Bruce had spent most of the night working on a break through and he wasn’t going to stop now because Tony had gotten drunk and kissed a bloke. Again.

Tony paused for a second, waiting for a name to roll off the tip of his tongue, but he basically had to choke it out of himself, “The Cap.”

Okay, that got Bruce’s attention. He lifted his gaze to meet Tony’s dark, pensive eyes and that’s when he knew this was no ploy. Not an act for attention, but a plea for help. His eyes were filled with urgency and panic. In all Bruce's time of working with Tony, never had he seen him so flustered, he’d been faced with almost guaranteed and imminent death and still stayed as steady as a rock, but when he gets a kiss from Steve Rogers he breaks.

“Ok,” Bruce spoke slowly, picking his next words methodically, “and?”

“And what?” every word Tony spoke seemed to be dripping with bewildered frustration.

“And how was it?” Bruce studied him carefully, keeping his eyes steadily observing him.

“It was-” passionate, impulsive, sweaty, desirous, hot, sensual, lustful, the best damn kiss he’d ever had, “It was Steve!”

Bruce had to try to repress an amused smile. “So, how did it happen?”

“We were just arguing as usual and then things got really… intense. And it just happened.” Tony shrugged. He couldn’t stop himself from remembering the clammy kiss that had happened a few moments ago in one of the many offices in S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters; their warm lips had crashed together in a moment of intense heat, hands grasping frantically at the thin fabric that separated their sweaty, riving bodies. Tony’s hand rested on the dip in Steve’s back pulling him forward, deepening the kiss, whilst Steve ran his fingers through Tony’s dark hair, nipping gently at the shorter strands on the base of his neck.

When they had finally broken apart, they both simultaneously excused themselves, muttering some incoherent reason as to why they had to leave right that second. Tony had instantly made his way to Banner’s lab, like he did in most situations that left him this baffled - which weren’t many.

Finally, Bruce couldn’t hold it in anymore and let out a small chuckle, shaking his head slightly.

“What’s so funny?” Tony gave him a piercing look, his brows drawing together in frustration.

“Nothing.” Banner said with an amused smile still twisting his lips. “I just can’t believe you’re actually surprised. How could you not see this coming?

Tony looked horrified for a second, his eyes widening in surprise. “How could I not see this coming!? What is it you’re trying to imply?”

“Oh, come on. Even you have to admit the chemistry you guys have is undeniable and don’t even get me started on the sexual tension.”

“What?! No. We argue all the time, he can’t stand me, he hates me!” Tony’s words came out more desperate than he meant them to.

“He doesn’t hate you, Tony.” Banner’s voice was low and quiet and meaningful. “It’s true, you guys bicker like an old married couple, but he does not hate you.”

Tony went quiet for a second, his panic was settling, but his wide, brown eyes were still drowning in worry. He let out an exasperated sigh, his tense shoulders slumping in unison as he grabbed a stool and sat down opposite Bruce.

“What do I do?” Tony’s voice was small and desperate. Never before had Bruce seen him so out of character - Tony Stark was not like this, in extreme cases he would cover up his panic with sarcasm or a bottle of whiskey.

“You like him, don’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“I… I thought the guy hated me,” Tony admitted, “I hadn’t really thought about it.”

A small, sad smile twists at Bruce's lips, “Never before have I seen Tony Stark not get what he’s wanted.” Tony smirked in a moment of pride. “So if you want that man, then you go get him.”

“Bruce, the guy came from the Second World War, there’s no way he swings that way. And even if he did…” His voice trailed off, but they both knew what he was thinking: even if he did I wouldn’t be good enough.

An endeared smile pulled at the corners of Bruce’s lips, “Trust me, Tony.” His voice was earnest and sincere. “Why would he kiss you if he didn’t like you?”

Tony fell silent for a moment, considering what Bruce was trying to tell him. “I am pretty damn irresistible.” Bruce grinned as the old Tony started to resurface, no longer the small, sad puppy.

The door to the lab swung open and a blonde, broad figure appeared with his blue eyes cast down at the floor, “Banner, do you have a second-” when Steve looked up and saw Tony, he froze. His eyes skittered around the room, trying to find a safe place to rest as he swallowed thickly, the muscles in his jaw tightening.

Good god, they were just as bad as each other.

Tony looked to Bruce in panic - his wide, soft eyes pleading with Banner for some help. Bruce gave a small nod of his head to tell Tony ‘you can do this’ before making his way to his feet as quietly as possible. “I better go. I have a meeting with Fury.” Banner lied.

He only managed to take two steps until the next problem appeared in his lab. Natasha and Clint strolled in side by side in mid conversation. Natasha laughed that soft chuckle you only ever heard if she was with Clint and Clint reciprocated with one of his huge belly laughs.

“Oh, man,” Clint breathed through his fits of laughter, “you guys will never believe what just happened…” Clint’s voice trailed off as he suddenly recognized the tension in the room, finally acknowledging Steve’s stiff posture as he stood silently by the door and Tony slumped over a table, his eyes unwilling to meet anyone else’s.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, before Bruce decided to speak up. “Oh hey, I was looking for you guys, don’t we have that thing that we need to do…” Bruce flashed a knowing look at Natasha who immediately straightened herself up with understanding.

She nodded with definite agreement. “Yes, come on Clint.” She waited for Clint to make his way back out of the door, but his amused smirk was set on Steve and Tony as he slumped against a desk.

“I’m fine right here.” Clint sniggered, smirking at the two men, trying, with success, to make them as uncomfortable as humanly possible.

Natasha rolled her eyes before grabbing the collar of Clint’s T-shirt and dragging him out of the lab, Bruce left behind them and flashed a look at Tony before he walked out. Go get him, Tony.

Bruce gave Natasha an appreciative look as she hit Clint over the back of the head once they were out of earshot. “Ow!” Clint exclaimed, clutching the back of his head.

“What was that about?” Clint pressed. “Did they hook up or something?” Clint’s gossip hungry eyes pried into Bruce’s.

“What makes you think they hooked up?” Banner’s voice was steady and calm, equal parts curious and evasive.

“Oh, come on. The tension back there was so strong, they either hooked up or one of them stabbed the other's pet puppy.”

Natasha’s lips curled into an amused smile, before she lured Clint away from Bruce with the promise of Thor’s secret stash of homemade cookies. Bruce threw Natasha yet another thankful glance and he made a mental note to do something nice for her.

Once the doctor was finally alone, he let out a heavy sigh. It wasn’t easy being the Avengers unofficial therapist.

***

The next time anyone saw Tony and Steve was the next morning.

Thor was bent over a frying pan, making his world famous bacon and eggs for everyone. Natasha and Clint were bickering over whose turn it was to wash up and clean up the broken eggshells, because, as great as he was at cooking, Thor was an expert at creating messes.

Once Bruce had done his morning yoga, he sat down at the kitchen table, a bowl of muesli in front of him as he watched the others tuck into bacon and eggs. He hadn’t gone back to the lab yesterday, just in case Tony did get what he wanted and they got a little ‘busy’. That wasn’t a site he wanted to see. So he had no idea how it went.

As if on cue, Tony and Steve walked into the kitchen, their hands weaved together and their eyes still weary with sleep. Their hair was in a disarray mess, sitting atop of their heads, and the warm glances they exchanged filled their eyes with a sparkle. Tony’s smile almost immediately disappeared when he dragged his eyes away from Steve to see the full kitchen.

His muscles stiffened and his cheeks flushed ever so slightly as he cast his eyes to the floor. Steve must have noticed because his fingers tightened around Tony’s and he kept flashing reassuring glances at him.

They took a seat next to one another at the table and Thor laid out plates full of eggs and bacon. No one so much as batted an eyelid at Steve and Tony, despite how painfully obvious the flirty looks they threw at each other were, except Clint. He spent the first two minutes making kissy faces at Tony, regardless of the piercing glares he was throwing back at him, but once Natasha kicked him in the shin, he returned to his breakfast obediently.

By the time Steve had gotten around to his third helping, Tony had relaxed and everyone was throwing their heads back in laughter as Thor relayed a story about the time the warriors three went out to a karaoke bar.

“I don’t suppose you have anything to do with that?” Coulson muttered in Bruce’s ear as he passed, nodding towards Steve who had his arm curled around Tony’s shoulder, his other hand rubbing absentmindedly at his full belly.

Bruce smiled proudly at the couple before answering. “Not at all. This was their own doing.”


End file.
